As we decide to take the reins of our life back and get out of the relationship that should have been long over, many of us try to heal our broken heart. A slow and painful process of dwelling on our life and the relationship which has left us feeling scarred ensues.
Some of us eventually get over our heartbreak. We gather courage and decide to give ourselves another chance. But for many others, even after deep contemplation, reflection and analysis the very idea of another relationship seems frightening.
For such people, the impact of the past relationship is so indelible that it leaves them with an interminable feeling of doubt and doom. The devastatingly emotional trail as well as the inseparable memories of their past make it arduous for them to start life afresh.
It is nothing unusual in such a situation to be gripped by a sense of emotional catastrophe, a feeling that our world has come to an end. We try hard but the light at the end of the tunnel just doesn’t seem to shine.
Let us try and understand the reason behind this never-ending heartache.
Our mind is both a factory and a depository of thoughts. The thoughts that have a deep effect on us become a part of our personal story. We start identifying and believing in this false personal account created by our thoughts which continuously loop in our mind. We don’t realise when these figments of our thoughts become a reality for us. Even the relationship experiences that our mind narrates to us are not entirely true. They are just a false narrative created by our thoughts.
Therefore, to resolve this problem and come out of the continuous thought process, we need to start with dissociating ourselves from these imaginary beliefs. It's important to observe them as a witness rather than a victim. This practice of becoming a witness to our own thoughts is called Meta Consciousness.
Another thing to realise is that how someone treats and behaves with us is reflective about them and has nothing to do with us. So, instead of trusting and allowing that old narrative to continue, we need to create something fresh.
‘I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become’
- Carl Jung