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Online dating! Why does it not work for me?

One of the easiest ways to meet a partner these days is through online dating. It is while sitting in the comfort of our home that we can use this virtual medium to meet a potential partner from anywhere in the world. In fact, dating has never been so easy, as is in our current times.

However, the concept of dating is very recent, especially in certain cultures. Many of us, after the initial hesitation, do end up there, in order to meet the love of our life. But this relatively new medium comes with its own set of challenges.

Let us look at some of the commonly demanding scenarios. We often don't find the potential partner on the dating sites that we are using. So, we end up switching to another one. This was the platform which changed the life of a friend who found here the love of her life. But no magic is created whereas we are concerned. Another universal situation is being approached by unattractive people. This leaves us wondering if all the attractive and interesting people have disappeared from the face of this earth or else the people we find attractive do not respond to us.

Another possibility is when we finally connect with someone we like, find interesting and attractive. It feels as if destiny has just served a fresh slice of hope. Things start looking bright and exciting. Numbers are exchanged, next come texts, followed by conversations over the phone and finally a mutual decision to meet.

We start making plans for the "D Day" only to realise that we have been ghosted. All of a sudden our dreams come crashing down. We experience anger, dejection and hopelessness. At this point, we start losing faith as nothing seems to change in our lives. We are frustrated and we reject the idea of using dating sites ever again.

What we need to understand is that instead of discarding and blaming dating sites, we should look at the results that are arising for us. The conscious observation of the fallouts will enable us to work with our unconscious patterns in love. Our conditioned responses give us an idea of our preconceived notions of relationships and love. We can then use this information to change those patterns. This way, we respond to the results that hold the key to the transformation of these patterns.

‘You cannot find your soulmate until you find your own soul’
- Dr. Rob
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